Welcome Changes

My little 2 1/2 year old took a nap today while laying on my chest. As I think back on the time I remember wanting to be able to recall all of the emotion wrapped up in that special time so I could post it here for others to read but so that I could read it again and again. It was a wonderful experience that I had known before however this time was different.

I was different.

Lili had come to sleep with us last night which is a highly unusual event. We have tried it before mind you and it usually ends up with me cussing and Shelley saying "I told you so". I was the one who wanted to each time because of my guilty feelings of having Aly spend so much time with us. She has slept with us quite a bit of her young life and I feel that there is a special bond with us because of that. Of course there is a special bond with us because she is our first and a lot of other "firsts" that we have shared with her. And I was trying to satisfy that guilty feeling that perhaps we have not given enough of ourselves to Lili. Although there are other ways in which we have bonded with Lili that are different from our bonding with Aly. I guess it's a normal emotion.

Regardless, I remember Shelley bringing her into our room last night and putting her in the bed with us and she had had a "bad dream", so she was all too happy to be in our bed. Usually she likes to play and chatter box and gets herself awake until she just will not be quiet and calm down and go to sleep. Generally speaking she does not like sleeping with us and prefers her crib so that she can cover her head up and arrange her "posse" of stuffed animals and dolls for her morning parties. However, last night she climbed in the bed and smiled and covered up and settled down and we said our "good nights" again and she was off to visit the "sand man", thank God.

She awoke at the crack of dawn to the sounds of Shelley "cracking" the dawn. I swear there is an amazing God we serve that matches persons like Shelley and me who are opposites when it comes to their "fruitful" time of day. Shelley is a morning person, always has been, always will be. She will last as long as she can at night but then she is gone. Me I am a night person, always have been, always will be, unless aliens come and inhabit my body and change me. That or God does a number. He did when I worked at the Children's Home. But, I reverted to my old ways. Genetic I guess.

Anyway, Lili awoke before the Rooster (which is appropriate seeing as she was born in the year of the rooster) and decided to have a conversation with me. Which was NOT happening. SO I gently, yeah right, suggested that she go into the OTHER room to her Mommy and see if she could help her start the morning out right instead of missing a limb... just teasing.

So since she had gotten such an early start she was wiped out about middle of the day and I could easily tell she was ready for a nap, although she disagreed with me wholeheartedly. I knew right away this was going to take some convincing so I made her climb up into my lap and then began the process to calm her down with suggestions about how tired her hands were because they had worked so hard finding all those little pieces of Doritos in the bottom of that bag. And I do mean worked hard. She had been munching out on the last of a bag of chips and having a field day doing it. The tips of her fingers had turned orange as well as anything in which they came into contact. SO I grabbed a wet wipe (praise God for this invention) and began to wipe away the residue and orange "lipstick" that had deposited itself onto her skin.

We talked some more about how her feet were tired from running around the house all morning and how even her eyelids were so heavy and tired that she just had to close them so she could rest them for just a minute or two. To which she slowly succumbed and rested her head in the middle of my chest and listened to my heart beat and fell asleep... and snored. What a hilarious little snoring sound she can make when she falls asleep a certain way. She does it in her car seat sometime. Shelley and I love it.

I don't have to tell you how wonderful it was to hold my little girl and caress her head and hold her little bottom and just feel her warmth and know how much a miracle her presence there truly is. I just had to lift up a prayer of thanksgiving to God for bringing her into our life. What a magnificent miracle she has been to us. We have saved each other.

Needless to say, I of course joined her shortly thereafter in search of that sand man. I found him too, and he was all too happy to see me again. We have a special relationship he and I.

I mentioned in the beginning of this post at how I was different. There is no way you live through the experiences of the past year or two, survive them intact and not be a different person. I think I am different just recently from the release of stresses that were consuming me. I have goals more clearly defined and that for anyone but especially a man who is head of a home, is a wonderful thing. I look at my family a little differently than I did before. I still yell and have my grumpy moments but I believe they would all tell you that I am changing.

I would like to look at it as a "seasoning".

I hope we all like the flavor.

I believe we will.

God is a magnificent chef!

Love,