Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hey Fay!!

I am a virgin. I will admit it. Here and now I admit that even having been married to Shelley for 13 plus years I am still a virgin... a Tropical Storm/Hurricane virgin. And I was hoping to stay one my entire life but apparently I will be losing my cherry so to speak in the next several hours. So will my little beauties and our little faithful dog Bailey.
We have "battened down the hatches" and secured as much as we can secure and are sitting here praying and waiting. We are praying that the power doesn't go out and if it does it doesn't stay out for too terribly long. It will be miserable here with no air. We have no screens on the windows and I would rather be hot than donate a lot of blood to the mosquitoes. Not to mention Aly and Lili would go into a coma with a lot of bites SO if the power does leave us we will just grin and sweat and bear it.
Sorry any of you out there who don't get the thrill of waiting to go through a Tropical Storm or Hurricane. I am hoping to win the blog cabin on DIY network so we can move back to TN and won't have to deal with any of this mess. Just good ole snow.
Anyway, that's what is cooking at our house.
Have a good day and for you enjoyment here is an email my sister sent to me that I laughed so hard I cried. I KNOW you will enjoy it too.
Love ya

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever,had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Come on, you are crying right now aren't you!!


Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! TOO FUNNY! David, yes your wife is right, always the comedian!!! Miss you guys somethin' fierce!!! Stay safe!


Margie Mayer said...

Hi David,
Listen, forget the Blog Cabin - it's mine!!!!! LOL. Glad you all survived Fay without too much trouble and that everyone is safe. Best wishes and love to all.


Bob said...

Hi David,
You are so right about the laughing until you cry!!! I am crying now too. I have been reading your blog for a while now, and am just now responding. I have two things to say: First, I work in aircraft maintenance in the Air Force Reserves, and appreciate the humor here. Second, I too will become a dad and hope with the Lord's help to be as wise and insightful as you. My wife and I are adopting from China also and are with AWAA with LID: 3/22/07. Keep bloggin', I am inspired by your posts.