What a View

Today I am sitting in front of the beautiful Atlantic ocean enjoying the waves and the breeze. It is a bit chilly I might add although it is definitely worth it. I am amazed at the number of people coming and going to the beach to walk or pick up sea shells or just look at the ocean. I am parked by a ramp that you can drive down onto the beach if you have a four wheel drive vehicle. Alas, I do not and that is probably a good thing because I am someone who could get a four wheeler stuck I am sure. The picture above was taken at this spot a few months ago when we were out and about. I wanted you to see it so you could be jealous. Also it is considerably more choppy and many more waves crashing ashore than in this picture. Remember I said it was breezy.

I choose to come here today to spend some time in introspection. Some renewal time alone, just me and my thoughts and Rush Limbaugh on the radio for a while. Yes I am a fan and I am happy to admit that. I have learned a lot from him and am not ashamed to admit it. Anyway, I was listening to his program today as a distraction from my own problems, of which there are many. And it was a welcome distraction at that. After yelling at my more than understanding wife and putting the "fear of daddy" in my children's eyes, I knew it was time to make some decisions in my life, some concrete, definitive decisions. Maybe I am in the throws of a midlife crisis. Perhaps I am just feeling "blue", my metabolism is kind of slow so that would explain why "blue Monday" would hit me on Tuesday. (for those of you who are unaware, yesterday is designated as "blue Monday" because so many people take their own lives on that day. Due to the holidays having been over and the holiday bills racking up etc. Sad huh?)

Anyway, I am not in the end your life group by a long shot, been there done that and have the scars to prove it. Not any good reason to even contemplate that. No my need is for a time to re group, recoup, rethink, rework, revitalize, whatever else "re" I can think of and perhaps some new terms that would apply. Brooding, contemplation, deep thought, heart searching, introversion, meditation, reflection, rumination, scrutiny, self-absorption, self-examination, self-observation, self-questioning, and soul-searching. (I love dictionary.com)

The funny thing is, the more I think about myself, the more I am drawn to others and their situations. People I have no real idea about just one of those "feelings" you get sometime. I attribute it to the Holy Spirit speaking to my soul, my heart. For example. As I am sitting here writing this a man pulls up about 30 feet from me in his car. Apparently he too is here for the view and a bit of quiet time. I can't help but notice that he has his hand covering his eyes as if he is weeping. I don't notice shoulder shrugging or body jolts. Of course I am not staring at him I am simply noticing him in my peripheral vision as I type. But occasionally I do look at him and notice that his face is red and his eyes are too. My heart reaches out to him and I begin to pray for him. Just that simple. I am praying "Lord please help this man. If he knows you then please draw him closer. If he doesn't then please draw him to you. And if there is something I am supposed to be doing then please give me the knowledge and strength to do it." If you know me and how I think then you know I am already imagining this guy pulling out a gun and blowing his brains out right in front of me (that's the dramatic side of me) and I am trying to figure out if I should get out of my car and waddle over to his car and maybe ask him if I can help in some way when suddenly he reverses his car and drives away.

Hmmmm, well that was a little weird. Then about 5 minutes later another guy pulls in at the same spot and just sits and looks at the ocean for a while and then drives off. Undoubtedly I am at a prime spot from which to view the ocean on this stretch of highway. SO I kind of just attribute all of that to coincidence. But is there really anything that is coincidence to a believer?

There have been too many amazing, even miraculous "things" that have happened in my life to accredit them all to coincidence.

As I sit here writing, I am overwhelmed at the very thought of these incidences flooding my mind, one right after the other, reminding me of the awesome power and detailed interest my Heavenly Father has for me as His child. And I mourn for the time I have waisted not enjoying the comfort of His loving embrace and sheltering wing.

As I look out over this wondrous scene I see so many sights that speak to me and perhaps to even you, whoever you are reading this (once again no coincidences). There is a sail boat off in the distance that has drifted past me. Actually I can't even see it anymore. It began at my far left and now has drifted way down past me on my right. I remember looking at it as it got closer and noticed that it had no sails up. On a windy day like today, no sails?! I was wondering why and I realized that maybe it didn't need sails today. It was just going to make it on the power of the wind moving the boat. I could be wrong of course and they were using their motor, but to me the message I got was from the sailboat enjoying the peace of just being moved by the power of the wind.

I have only been out past the breaking waves in a boat once that I can remember and the quietness of it always struck me. Kind of like when you walk out on a pier, way way out on a pier and you no longer hear the breaking waves, just the wind of the ocean in your ears. Anyway, this sailboat spoke to me of the turbulence my little family has been in this past year (and then some). How we have not had wind in our sails sometimes and even if we had sails and didn't have the strength to put them up we still were kept moving along by the power of the wind.

I am reminded that I have known my Heavenly Father for some time now and if you are arrogant like me you would think that I would have Him figured out by now and know how any given situation will work out. Well of course I don't and He continually amazes me with something new. Something totally off the charts. Way out in left field and yet ideally suited for me and my little clan. What an awesome God, what a loving father, what a magnificent adventure He plans and executes for us His children. (What am I referring to? Come back soon and I will tell you.)

And just think of the people who don't have this relationship with Him. It breaks my heart. Just as I imagine it hurts His. SO much pain and no where to go for healing. SO many who are looking and think that they have an answer, but not THE answer.

Well, I have typed myself into a real need to pee. AND there are no places to go and pee around here so I will have to end my diatribe here and ask that anyone reading this please continue to pray for our family and especially me as leader of our family. I know God is at work. We have asked Him to be. We have seen His hand and continue to rest in His mighty grip. However, we are only human and our patience runs thin sometimes and I lose my mind and yell at my wife and scare the kids. For those of you who have never done this you won't understand, but for those of you who have, well you know.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to drop in. I appreciate all your kind comments and encouragement. Love to you all.

David