Goodnight Sweet Princess

I don't quite know how to handle our situation right now. I am a mix of emotion. What we are embarking upon is a bitter sweet experience. Perhaps someone out there can help. Maybe not. Let me explain. Our little girl, our oldest, Alyson is starting to sleep in her own room again. Her own bed for the first time. No longer with Mommy and Daddy. My heart is breaking. I am sure to those of you who haven't experienced this you think I am some kind of weirdo but I am telling you that after sharing our bed with our child for over a year now, we have bonded so closely and sometimes look forward to our little special time just before we go to sleep.

Aly has cried about it to us before. She said that she likes just having us all to herself and not having to share us with Lili. We lay in the bed and laugh and joke and read and sometimes argue about "Aly go to sleep". But eventually those beautiful brown eyes close and her eyelids slow down in their blinking and she yawns a few times and then she is out like a light. That is if she has had the chance to "play wiff Mommies hayuhh". She is so tactile and she loves the feeling of Shelley's hair between her fingers.

She also loves to ask me dozens of questions, which of course I love to answer and discuss etc. She has already learned the way to snooker Dad. But you know, I love it. I sit and think about the not too distant future when she will no longer want to just lay in the bed and ask Dad and Mom questions and laugh and sing and try to wake up her sister or get Bailey rambunctious. I love it when she curls up in my arm and falls asleep. I am going to miss that terribly. It really hurts my heart.

I know she has to grow up. I know she needs to have her room and her bed etc. I also know that Shelley and I really need the alone ADULT time. Time to simply have an adult conversation not interrupted by our loving daughter. It still doesn't make it any easier. I miss her already. I know I know just give it time. She did so well last night. She slept all night by herself in her bed. She is sharing the room with Lili currently until Fred Sandford and his crew move out. Then she will have her own room.

But night before last I thought I would lose it. It feels to much like a death of sorts to me, and believe me I have had enough of those for a while. She went to bed with the intention of sleeping in her bed but a little later , she came crying to us and climbed up in my lap and told me "I thought it would be easier. It's so lonely". SO of course what did we do. She slept with us.

Oh well, just like the urologist told me about my kidney stone. This too shall pass. I still hate to watch her grow up soooooo quickly. I know she is only 3, well almost 4 but it just seems like yesterday I held her tiny body in my arms as she protested for an hour. Sometimes I just wish time could just stand still for a few moments. God please help me to make better use of the time I have to spend with my girls. Help me to make it count.

We had the first of a few yard sales today. Made our week seem successful. Getting rid of stuff and turning some of it into cash. Basically made enough to pay the kids who helped us all week and enough to tithe (yes yard sale money IS income and you should tithe it...oh yes the Lord made me painfully aware of our not tithing all monies that come in). SO if you do read this and you are so inclined, please pray for our continued successes. Give a big praise to the BIG MAN upstairs for us. He is so good. We are blessed.

I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places.
David